Loves, These are some crazy times. Have there ever been times that are not crazy? I don’t know. It seems our human history is comprised of intensity, insanity, and struggle. I was talking with my godmother the other day and she mentioned that watching Game of Thrones was helping to give her perspective and get through the election madness and mud-slinging. And it’s true that most of human history revolves around wars and the struggle for power… or at least the history that’s remembered. Our memories of revolution and war are inseparable from our human identity. Even those of us who want peace fight for it...
On the other hand, we humans tend to forget the times that things are just fine, when people are friendly or at least not being awful. We tend to gloss over the good memories because, biologically, we actually need to remember the bad ones more. Our innate survival instincts kick in when there’s danger, and it’s important that we learn (quickly) what, who, and where to avoid or defend against. Profoundly deep memories are created when there is trauma or danger. A child only needs to learn not to put her hand on the hot burner once. Violation from another person or group of people can create a lifetime and lineage of mistrust towards anyone who bears the slightest resemblance. Pleasant experiences and people will also be remembered, but the amount of repetition it takes for “good” experiences to form reflexes as opposed to “bad” experiences is far greater.
We are much more likely to notice and hold on to discomfort than we are to notice or dwell in contentment. It’s simply easier as a human to be consumed with distress. Being peace inside of ourselves takes intention and practice.
By being peace or dwelling in contentment I don’t mean ignore the problems and slip into anesthetized, placid acceptance. But our attention is powerful. When we pay attention to the kinds of experiences that agitate we tend to encourage more awareness and strength in them by being obsessive. If we live our lives in a constant state of negation, fear, and criticism then we create more of what we hate by putting so much energy into it. It’s absolutely imperative for any kind of “positive future” that we give ample energy into seeing and supporting what is indeed positive… and most of the time we can find the places that are worthy of our gratitude.
The entire process and recent results of this stupid election feel defeating in a deep way. The despair and depression I feel (many of us feel) is heavy. The legislative legacy of past conservative administrations has created not just memory, but current and thriving abuse towards our bodies, families, and homes. In all probability things are about to get much, much worse with a corporation-backed hegemony in full power.
And… The truth is that we still have so much to be grateful for. We have each other. We have the knowing that our community is strong and growing stronger. We have tools of organization, communication and solidarity at our disposal. We have seen each other. We see the ones who will not be divided by shortsighted fears or the myth of autonomous power. We have felt each other moving and gaining strength. Together we are strong and that has not changed.
What we know of how energy works is that it does not dissipate. It is constant and in a constant state of change. The forces that shift energy are bigger than all of us as individuals but they are created by us as individuals. In times that we perceive opposition it is important to remember the nature of what opposition does: it draws out and magnifies polarity. I know it’s hard to believe or to see right now, but at no other time in our remembered history has there been as much consciousness or connection between people. The light in us has been growing steadily. There is more awareness of each other, tolerance, equanimity, and sincere desire for healing and reconciliation.
As our light grows so will the shadows. We will see the nature of what we oppose as long as we believe that there is opposition. I know this sounds crazy and feels crazier, but we could choose to see current events as a detoxification process: a purging of poison that has found its way into human hearts and has been infecting them for thousands of years. Possibly, the immensity of destruction that we’re being shown is serving the purpose of forcing our collective memory of love. There has been no other time in history when humans have been so aware of one another’s suffering.
We can choose to see how our individual choices become the choices of a greater whole. We can choose to wake up to our agency in the process of change. We can recognize that every time we choose kindness, generosity, prudence, or trust in the face of our own aggravation, that choice is deposited into a big bank of human impact. When we choose aggression and divisiveness, our choices feed the impact of those energies instead.
At this time is that we are all being called upon to be spiritual warriors. Our weapons are inclusiveness, compassion, and nonviolence. We must include those who make us want to shut our hearts. Somehow we must grow our hearts large enough to love them even if they represent the epitome of our terror. How do we do this? We spend time in conscious states of reflective self-awareness and deal with our own terror. We feel it, see it, smell it. We feel the ways we want to make it real and absolute. And then we practice noticing what is good around us. In every moment, no matter how dark, we can find a trace of something to love. We have to practice seeing the good, paying attention to it, helping it grow.
We must each do this work for ourselves. It is impossible to do another’s work for them. So in practicing compassion please don’t take it upon yourself to relieve someone’s suffering or fix anything. This tendency too when magnified is the nature of the beast. The idea that we are so big and powerful as to have control over what someone else feels... Impossible. Yes, if there are tangible and obvious ways you can help someone you should. But when it comes to their terror, that belongs to them. What if we redefined compassion as the the willingness to be uncomfortable in not knowing together? The truth is that another’s terror will often trigger our own. In that moment we have the opportunity to connect in intimacy. In that moment we can do our own work while holding space for another to do theirs. The first step is to acknowledge our own fear, the next is to remember that there is more than what we are afraid of, and then we share that remembering through our presence with those around us… This is hard when others are feeling trapped in by their fear, we have to all take turns remembering together. We have to all be ok with ourselves that sometimes we forget. It is the moving through fear that is spiritual work. We each have to attend to our own pieces.
Nonviolence begins in our hearts and intentions. It is bigger and more subtle than not killing or wounding physically. The deep instincts for self-preservation are inherent in our organism. Just because we’re vegetarian doesn’t mean we’re not violent. We have to get quiet and honest with ourselves and see the ways we act subtly aggressive. This includes trying to control others actions or experiences. This includes insecurity and the ways we undermine or manipulate in order to feel needed or good. Nonviolence is a deep practice of listening. We must listen to the truth of our hearts underneath the fluctuations of our emotions and thoughts. Know what your intention is and keep checking in with it. Especially when you feel activated or scared. Commit to and remember your intention to love.
The Astrology of November 14th’s full moon in Taurus and the goddess asteroids - A war of the feminine.
The astrology surrounding Monday’s full moon reflects a feeling of retreat. The sun (our collective consciousness) is in Scorpio, the sign of the underworld and descent, together with the asteroid Lillith. Lillith represents the suppressed power and rage of the feminine (This includes men. By feminine I mean the instinct and force in all of us to nurture, connect, and love our bodies and Earth.) Coming from the old guard of Pagan pantheism Lillith understood herself to be as powerful as Adam (the idea of separateness from, or power over nature) and as worthy of pleasure. Banished from the Garden of Eden for demanding equality she retreats into the psyche of one who has been rejected. Anger, spite, and revenge infuse her mythology, but so does a staunch conviction that she is worth the equality she demands. Lillith does not back down. She is the one who waits in the shadows and is a constant threat to male dominance. She is the nasty and powerful woman. She is all the witches who were burnt, all the women and men who were pushed down and severed from pleasure in their bodies. She is the force that directly opposes a patriarchal power that rules through disconnection and the mythology of separation.
The sun’s light with Lillith holds a consciousness that is deeply immersed in feeling. The Scorpio light is fading and full of shadows. Our feet are stuck in the mud of the past. Right now there is no present experience of freedom, but rather the slow sinking into the same old shit. The weeds and muck at the bottom of the swamp are heavy. Our awareness is heavy. It is full of resentment, rejection, and revenge.
The moon opposite in Taurus is the urgency of awareness for Earth. The divisiveness, anger, jealousy and outrage that flows from humans towards one another wreaks havoc on the home we share. Rising sea levels and mass migration of peoples will only increase. The reality of climate change and necessity for protection of environment does not recognize party lines. Illuminated by anger and pain, this moon reflects back to us a promise of home. This moon is a remembrance of our bodies. It is a reminder that investing in the sensual is good for all of us. The pleasure of your body, the joy of connecting, truly nourishing food, the beauty of nature. We must remember how to be the beauty of what we are.
All points are square to Pallas Athene in Aquarius. Athena the goddess was born out of Zeus’ head. With no mother she represents the new feminine power that is born of patriarchy. She is cool, mental, and inventive. She is the ability to succeed in a man’s world. Her emotional vulnerability is hidden behind armor she was born with. She might not even know it’s there. Athena however is also a strategist and in Aquarius her natural ability to read holistic patterns is emphasized. In this square she must be as determined as ever. Her fight is one that is tactical rather than emotional. This is the female force that will work with the same powers that oppress her. However, she works towards ends that ultimately serve the objective intelligence she carries. She may never take off her armor, but now she’s preparing to step forward in whatever guise necessary to keep moving towards her goals.
Pallas Athene is sextile to Saturn and Pholus in Sagittarius. Ideals are becoming more concretized. There is a sense of learning from past mistakes. Though current conditions are restricting, the determination to work towards belief is strong. Legislation governing rights over our bodies will be of crucial important. Regardless of what laws are passed our determination to self-determine will not be stopped.
Also sextile to Pallas and semi-square to the moon, in a place that is invisible, uncomfortable and undeniable, Uranus and Eris are at the height of their conjunction. Eris, sister of Mars in many of her myths, “delights in the groans of men dying in battle.” As the planet beyond Pluto she represents a hell more hellish than what we previously imagined possible. She is Kali, mother of destruction and discord. She delights in violence for the sake of violence. She does not care about human ego and is happy to see it destroyed.
Eris conjunct Uranus is the logic of terrorism. She is the wedding party bombed by drones; the nightclub exploded by automatic weapons and shame; the children gassed and deformed. This the change that happens out of despair. Uranus and Eris want change and revolution but ideals or utopias are not coming quickly enough, or they have been consistently diminished in possibility. This is change for the sake of change – the idea that it’s better to burn the whole thing down than work to preserve.
Remember that all of these figures exist in each of us as instinct and archetype. Note your rage when you feel it. It has valuable information for you.
Finally Venus, ruler of the full moon, has just entered Capricorn, a sign where her love is contained and authoritative. In Capricorn she holds the place of long-term vision and determination for structures which serves the earth and body (Taurus.) She is sextile to the sun and Lillith on one side – their pain and emotion serves to solidify her determination. Sextile to Neptune in Pisces on the other side, she stays connected to a broader sense of vision and the knowing of oneness which pervades even this conflict.
Conflict, escalation of violence and upheaval are probable, but strategy, determination and long-term goals are necessary. Those of us who are committed to the priorities that transcend individual greed and grasping for power will continue to organize. There is fear that we will be driven (again) underground but this will not be the case. The groundswell is too big to contain. The tides are turning in huge numbers. Women are still gaining power. Non-white and awakened white people are still gaining power. There are many of us who have been living underground and closeted that are starting to find our way out. We must see, celebrate, and support each other.
Again, we must remember that the nature of opposition is to illuminate co-dependency and to bring out the essence of the polarized sides. We cannot allow ourselves to become our hatred or our fear. We can’t fight fire with fire. New tactics (Pallas Athena) must emerge and grow. We will continue to strengthen our networks and bonds of mutual trust and respect. We will continue to propagate ideals and examples of collaboration and celebration in difference. We will and we must build new structures that replace our dependence on the old. If our land resources are sold to big business we must remember that businesses are supported by human investment. We have the power to create new choices and new choices must be made. Divest now from what does not support your future or the future generations. Reach out to connect with others who share your beliefs and those who don’t. Do not fall victim to the rhetoric of hate and difference. Find common ground. We have to be willing to extend trust towards others’ goodness and best intent. When we find goodness in the opposition we will know certainly that goodness is within ourselves.
Emergent systems of cooperative power have more potential than fighting current systems of hegemonic power. We the people must remember our agency. Our dollars and habits are the energy that runs global economy and politics. Now is the time for reaching out to share with each other, not for grasping or retreating in fear. When we remember that together we can provide ourselves and each with what we need then we can put down this battle. Continuing to fight using their violent logic won’t work. We must revolutionize our minds by refusing polarity and exploitation on all levels.
Finally - a significant deciding factor in the election was women, specifically white women. It’s so important that we work together to unwind and resolve the hatred, competition, jealousy and mistrust between us. If you identify as female please be an ally to other females. See their beauty and their power and celebrate it. We have to get beyond this fucked-up idea of scarcity and the narrow standards of worthiness perpetuated by misogyny. This is one thing that Trump’s rhetoric has shown us strongly. Women need to support each other in being powerful and valuable regardless of physical appearance or clothing choices. We have to get beyond this limitation in ourselves if we’re going to get past it with each other. If you identify as masculine PLEASE support the feminine beings in your life to feel empowered, sexy and worthy of love. Please support us to love our bodies. Please support us to celebrate our minds. We will heal this divide with intentional collaboration and the shared decision to heal.
Your horoscopes this week are shorter and simply affirmations, they reflect the ways in which your strategic mental capacities can come forth to mediate between fear and the determination to thrive. I invite all of you who read them and use them to consider what strategies make sense to you in the near and coming future. Start to take note of what resources and power you have and are willing to share. Let each other know how you are available to connect and support one another.
I know that right now the urge is strong to go to sleep and numb out, but I hope that all of us can insist on staying awake, aware and engaged. We must see the urgency of coming together now, we need all hands on deck.
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ARIES I will learn to share. I will trust that my generosity will be returned. Even if it doesn’t happen in the ways I expect. Even if it doesn’t happen immediately. I will address the voices in me that are stingy, secretive, and suspect. I refuse to give in to mistrust of another’s intent. I do this by taking care of own needs for satiation and satisfaction. I can give to myself with joy. In giving to myself freely I learn to give freely to others. I see that my abundance increases when I offer with an open heart. I ask for examples to be shown to me in my life of reciprocity and collaboration. I ask for the signs to be sent that my trustworthiness is worth and equal to my trust in others.
TAURUS I easily navigate the dance of power. I notice how my need for love, attention, affection and validation can be used against me when I make it the responsibility of someone else to fulfill my needs. I notice how when I feel empowered and whole in myself it seems effortless for others to love me and give me what I need. I notice how I must maintain my self-empowerment lest I mistakenly believe that the source of others’ adoration is something other than my own essence. I bravely refuse to let my self worth be defined by my perceptions or imaginings of another’s experience. I see in myself all the qualities that I would love and value in another. I see in another all the qualities that I love in myself. I see that the less I perceive them as separate, the stronger they both become.
GEMINI I am a useful person on this planet. I have so much to give. The small actions I take, the details I attend to, the chores I perform… all of these acts are meaningful. All of these acts are impactful. I forgive myself for not being everything. I forgive myself for not knowing everything, for not having all the answers. I can only do my part. My part is absolutely necessary. I see what I do and I acknowledge it. I am proud of myself. I identify the broad and vast ideas that remind me how big the world is, and how small I am. I remember that there are so many stories and experiences. I feel myself as part of the whole. My responsibility is to attend to my small piece of experience. My home, my tasks, my mind. I am doing a good job. One moment to the next.
CANCER Intimacy is not really candlelight and whispers. No. It is the transformative process of working through challenge. It is smelling your own shit and smelling each other’s shit. It is the decision to clean it up. It is the decision to stop throwing it at someone else. It is the decision to stop allowing someone else to throw it at you. Intimacy is messy, wretched, and terrifying. Intimacy is forgiving yourself for your shadow. Intimacy is accepting that you are forgiven by another, that they have seen and felt and known your shadow, that they are still here and still love you. Intimacy is the shared decision to grow up. Your affirmation is, “I keep working creatively with the shadows that get shown to me. I have the insight and skills needed to work through challenge. I trust that my honest expression in the moment is necessary and is in a state of evolution. I am learning what to express, when, and how. I am learning what to tolerate and what to say no to. I trust my process.”
LEO I am recycling my lineage. I am composting the unresolved, unacknowledged shadow of my parents and family. I am working through what they could not. I am meeting the demons I’ve inherited. I do this with the knowing that it is absolutely part of my path. I do this because the lineage of my family, though it is specific, is also the same as all other families. I include those who have been cast out. I call out those who have abused. I comfort those who were abused. I forgive. I integrate the disparate and dysfunctional in my biography in order to move towards the stability, abundance, and trust that is my birthright. All my friends and partners who show me patterns, fears, and faces of familiarity are here to teach me. I recognize in them the opportunity to make different choices. Each choice I make differently from those who came before me frees the lineage for us all.
VIRGO Crises of faith will be resolved not through huge gestures, but through consistent and daily commitment. When I feel closed in and claustrophobic; when I feel fearful of the importance or meaning of my own talent or intellect; when I feel mistrust or unconscious manipulation with my close friends; when my thoughts are neurotic and heavy… Then I remember the bigger ideas of why I do what I do. Then I remember my ultimate intent. I trust others when I trust myself. I trust myself when I show myself that I am consistent in my goodness. I trust myself when I decide to be kind even if I’m upset. I trust myself when I clean up for someone else even if I’m rushed and stressed. I trust and show myself how I serve greater goodness by remembering my goodness moment to moment.
LIBRA I acknowledge the fear that I won’t have enough. I acknowledge the fear that what I value has been lost or stolen. I feel the pain of scarcity that so many are experiencing on this planet. I feel the fear of letting go. I remember the richness in connection. I remember the true wealth of intimacy. I see how my fear can block my perception of what is true, and that there are many who support me, who give to me, and who receive what I give in ways that validate and vitalize my own essence. I turn to my creativity for answers. I turn my pain into art. I turn to children for answers. I see how courageously they love, and how their priorities are simple. There is nothing to grasp for. I breathe in and breathe out. I am constructive with my fear, I put it to use and allow it to motivate my passion, my playfulness and my pleasure.
SCORPIO My most important relationships offer space to practice absolute presence. I attend to my partners with generosity and goodwill. I consciously combat the instinct for self-preservation, secrecy or manipulation. I trust that I have all the knowledge and means I need to create the foundations I desire in the future. I trust that there is goodness at my core and in the roots of my being. I trust that I already know the family and home that I desire. I feel it, I imagine it, I aim for it, I recognize it everywhere. I practice accountability. I practice picking up after myself, apologizing, and doing the best that I can. I practice seeing that others see me and my efforts, that there is nothing to defend.
SAGITTARIUS I counter fears of the unknown with tangible actions I take throughout my days. I create rhythm in my life that honors the needs of my body and I commit to service that honors the material and physical needs of others. I understand that the sensate reality supports freedom and relaxation of mind. And so I attend to my life with care and consistency. I take pleasure in my tasks. Organizing and networking with friends and close-by acquaintances reveals answers for furthering the shift towards a more energized and vital creative existence. I commit to staying socially engaged even when I feel fearful and private. I ask questions, I get involved, and I network. Through conversations with those in my immediate community I take action.
CAPRICORN I balance the fears I have of losing the future with a felt sense of creative agency in my core. I balance a heavy mistrust of the greater world and countless others against a luscious self-awareness that is building through my own self-acceptance and action upon my desires. The growing shift I sense in my subconscious is directly related to the upheaval and change that is sweeping through my home life. Changes will continue and it is best for me to work with them by releasing my attachments to memories and what has happened in the past. I refuse to support stagnancy. I believe that greater change is possible because I see that longheld personal rigidity in myself is changing. I commit to continuing to prioritize my values and I trust that this commitment will bring with it all the resource that I need to navigate the unknown waters ahead.
AQUARIUS I recognize the fear of stepping forward, of thinking that I have something to offer, of thinking that I can lead. I recognize and own my insecurity. I recognize and honor the one in me who needs comfort, security, and safety. In stepping forward I do not leave myself. In being seen I do not hide myself. I accept that bravery is the willingness to be seen. I see myself as the complex, multi-faceted wonder that I am. I see that I am no different, not better or worse, than those whose gazes I fear. In showing myself holistically, in knowing that I have nothing to hide, I empower others to do the same.
PISCES I skillfully navigate between my small, big mind, and infinite mind. My small mind can attend to the here and now, the details, the people, the opinions. My big mind holds steady in broad vision and my ethical code. My infinite mind is a deep and quiet steadiness. I trust that there is love and support in invisible places, and that “knowing” is actually a myth. When I remember that I am a part of all things then I remember all knowledge is available at any time. It may not come to me through words or directives, but it will come. I put my faith in what I cannot see. I trust that I am guided.